Cloud Discovered, Fluffiest in World

November, 2021  |  Falmouth, Cornwall

I’ve found a fluffy cloud.

You heard that right. I’ve done it. I’ve found a fluffy cloud.

No, this isn’t a false alarm. I’m not crying wolf. (The clouds are blocking the moon, anyway.) No pranks here. Just a fluffy cloud.

“But Duncan,” people tell me, “there are fluffy clouds in the sky all of the time!” They clearly haven’t seen this fluffy cloud.

When the news broke, many thought it was a hoax. In online message boards, Cloud-Anon conspiracy theorists touted wild suppositions about giant space blow-dryers and cloudfake technologies funded by the deep state.

Professional animators and computer graphics artists spent days searching for signs that the cloud wasn’t actually that fluffy. But you can’t debunk the truth.

It really is as fluffy as it looks. Across the world, streets of every width and cobble-pattern have erupted in protests. I’m With Fluffy stickers garnish lampposts. In 91 languages, activists chant, in call and response, “Say it loud! Fluffy Cloud!”

Critics agree. “That cloud is really fluffy,” writes Times cloud correspondent Sirius Tratus.

“In all my years of covering clouds, I’ve never seen one as fluffy as that,” said Post cloud critic Cumulo Nimbus.

Needless to say, I’m over the moon about this fluffy cloud. I really hope it doesn’t rain on my parade.